I’m expected to succeed, but what if I don’t. How dare I doubt myself? It is not normal…or is it?
It’s strange how we never question our artistic abilities when things are going well. However, when faced with a new challenge, something we’ve never attempted before, is it nor natural to have some doubt?
As I work on my current commissioned project with human forms, I must admit to doubting my ability to deliver. I’ve made amateurstic mistakes and had to start over again. My emotions have gone from confidence to doubt several times. I’ve said “I cant do this” several times, yet knowing down deep that I had to conquer doubt, or this project was destined for failure. I had to believe in myself more than ever before. In the end, perseverance has paid off.
Through this experience, I’ve learned valuable lessons. It can be a good thing to have some self doubt; to question our ability. We should learn to be our own worst critic. While it can be counterproductive at times, it can also help us to see how and where the work could have been better.
I recently read a quote from another artist, that helped me through the pase couple of weeks. “Do it so good that YOU can’t doubt it anymore….in the end, it doesn’t matter whether others believe in you or not. What matters is that YOU believe in yourself.”
I had to remind myself of all I’ve achieved. I looked over my projects from the past 25+ years, and even read several comments from patrons who have written in my guest book. Then I said “Damn the torpedos! Get Back to work!” Which is what I did.
I’m proud to announce that I completed the last of the human forms today.